Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
