He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
