Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
