I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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