porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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