theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
