This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
