He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
