i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
