The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
