we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
