Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We need to get me chipped asap
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
