I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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