I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
