Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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