Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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