I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
