I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
