New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
