did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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