I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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