You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You may now shotgun with the bride
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
