Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
