I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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