there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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