it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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