operation harelip BJ is a go
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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