she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
