that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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