If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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