...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
