My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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