yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
