She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
