Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
