I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
