Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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