4 words: hood of his car
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
someone owes me an orgasm
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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