sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i think my cat just said my name.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
