is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
