Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
