"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have fence marks all over my body
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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