She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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