butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
