I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
