I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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