I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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