i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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