Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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