I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
