Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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