is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
